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Thread: I dont know what to do-is this the right placve to post even?!?!

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    Default I dont know what to do-is this the right placve to post even?!?!

    I converted to Islam 6 years ago, recently started wearing my headscarf again, praying and reading Quran, however I am so worried about my partner who is also Sunni Muslim (British Pakistani), he is following the wrong path at the moment and I am trying my best to get him back on the right path, he is severely depressed about so many things that I can't even mention and yesterday evening he tried killing himself by trying to smash 2 bottles over his head. Thankfully he wasn't injured, nor did the bottles smash. His parents and 1 older brother and sister do not accept me because I am white (they do not know I am Muslim nor do they know aanything about me /they have never met me). I am so scared for him and making dua but I do not know what I am supposed to do.
    Should I tell his younger brother or eldest brother or his aunties or someone about last night's attempt or a previous attempt last year??

    I am trying to get him to speak to an imam and/or a doctor as he previously went to counselling but it is falling on deaf ears, I am trying my hardest to support him and be there for him and show him the right path by doing right myself but it is so difficult holding this information and not knowing what to do right for him??

    Should I tell someone to share the burden (I am worried about them not taking it seriously or them telling him that they know and causing problems with us adding to his stress, and the fact it is such a bad thing to try and take your own life, I thank Allah for the bottles not smashing and letting him die in such a sinful way, but am worried people would only reject him further if they know??)

    Please someone advise me, I am so distressed and worried for him and I really don't know which way to turn and what to do is right.

    Jazak Allah Kheir


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    Default Re: I dont know what to do-is this the right placve to post even?!?!

    Pls pls pls can someone tell me what should i do??

    Do I tell his family or someone or not???


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    Senior Member Aram's Avatar
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    Default Re: I dont know what to do-is this the right placve to post even?!?!

    Asalaamu alaykum

    is he close with any of this family?
    Chaska laga hai khoon-e-tamana ka is tarha
    Us khoon mein nahatay hai hum jaan bhooj kar
    khushiyon se rooth jate hai hum jaan bhooj kar
    Gham mein khushi manatey hai hum jaan bhooj kar

    http://safrehayat.wordpress.com


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    Default Re: I dont know what to do-is this the right placve to post even?!?!

    waleykum salaam,

    His family is a long story tbh, he wants to be close to them but a lot has happened with them when he was young until now and its hard for them to rebuild the situation. I've been trying with his younger brother and aunties to reconcile him with his natural parents (I can't because as I explained before they haven't met me nor do they want to) and the depression and suicide attempts are due to the bad relationship with them, amongst many many other things)

    I am just really confused about if to tell someone as I am not their blood and they may see me as interfering which may make their relationship worse.

    :S


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    Senior Member Aram's Avatar
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    Default Re: I dont know what to do-is this the right placve to post even?!?!

    maybe you should tell his younger brother or if he has any close friends tell one of them...they may be able to get through to him

    the other thing is that if you don't tell anybody and something happens to him people may blame you as they would not know his side of him
    Chaska laga hai khoon-e-tamana ka is tarha
    Us khoon mein nahatay hai hum jaan bhooj kar
    khushiyon se rooth jate hai hum jaan bhooj kar
    Gham mein khushi manatey hai hum jaan bhooj kar

    http://safrehayat.wordpress.com


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    Default Re: I dont know what to do-is this the right placve to post even?!?!

    Yes I know, thats what I worry about to, I've told his younger brother and told him not to tell him that he knows, and not to tell anyone else for now. I;m just so worried and I really don't know how I can help him??

    Jazak Allah Kheir for your help


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    Senior Member muminah's Avatar
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    Default Re: I dont know what to do-is this the right placve to post even?!?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Aram View Post
    maybe you should tell his younger brother or if he has any close friends tell one of them...they may be able to get through to him

    the other thing is that if you don't tell anybody and something happens to him people may blame you as they would not know his side of him
    That will happen, especially because human beings love blaming others instead of admitting a mistake.

    I think it maybe better to approach his close friends first. Does he have any? Would there be anyone who would be able to persuade him to go for therapy/see his GP?

    Have you spoken to him about how afraid you are for him and how you are unable to cope and may need to share the burden with others? I'm not suggesting you do, as you are the best person to know whether that is appropriate or not, but that may be one option for you?

    This is must be an extremely difficult time for you. I'd recommend you also go for therapy/counselling, even if he doesn't. The stronger you are as a person, the more you'll be able to support your partner through the depression he is currently facing.
    اللهم اني اسالك حبك و حب من يحبك والعمل الذي يبلغني حبك اللهم اجعل حبك احب الي من نفسي واهلي ومن الماء البارد

    يا مقلب القلوب ثبت قلبي علي دينك


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    Senior Member muminah's Avatar
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    Default Re: I dont know what to do-is this the right placve to post even?!?!

    Quote Originally Posted by robincowles View Post
    Yes I know, thats what I worry about to, I've told his younger brother and told him not to tell him that he knows, and not to tell anyone else for now. I;m just so worried and I really don't know how I can help him??

    Jazak Allah Kheir for your help
    You can help him by getting him to see a therapist. Whereabouts are you based?

    Did you ask his brother to encourage him to see a therapist/counsellor?
    اللهم اني اسالك حبك و حب من يحبك والعمل الذي يبلغني حبك اللهم اجعل حبك احب الي من نفسي واهلي ومن الماء البارد

    يا مقلب القلوب ثبت قلبي علي دينك


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    Default Re: I dont know what to do-is this the right placve to post even?!?!

    Believe me I've already tried suggesting the therapy/GP thing, hes already had it after the 1st attempt and its made no difference judging from last night :S.

    I'm just confused and fighting in my head btwn wot is right and wot isnt-ive told his younger bro and just pray that its the right thing to do as I don't want anything happening to him and I just want things to be better for him and for him to be closer to his family and to Allah because it would help him but I';m worried he's gone too far


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    Default Re: I dont know what to do-is this the right placve to post even?!?!

    I've told his younger bro abt the therapist/GP suggestion tons of times and told him again just now, he just said he will see what he can do. We are in Birmingham, West Midlands


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