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Thread: Family Trouble

  1. #1
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    Default Family Trouble

    Salaam

    Don`t know if this is the right place to ask.

    iv got a bit of a problem. Families have got problems. ill start from the top.

    Grans changed after coming from Pakistan even more cause some marriage agreement has happened in her eldest sons family with the middle sons family(not mine). plus much more problems.

    Then you got daughter in laws of the eldest son who just talk things in to my grans head) as well as the middle family.

    My gran is not happy with my mum cause (who is smallest daughter in law) she gets ripped. they were all good before but now just terrible.

    My mums always been good with my gran helped her in everything but now my mums the bad one cause of these daughter in laws from the eldest sons family (not like these daughter in laws but like my gran just every word daughter in laws is the best(cant explain).

    Situations are happening and i just want advise on how to tackle it head on kasme stress thing and is it good to lie to keep people happy also keep happy if they are apart from each other?

    My mum wants me to lie and keep them happy in other words just slap in grans face and say go to them if u think there best(i.e daughter in laws)

    i dont like ripping people and i want families happy

    paki families are so awked

    give me advise people jazakallah


  2. #2
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    Default Re: Family Trouble

    ive got a feeling u cant do nothing about this so it probably would be best if you spent most of your time away from home or hidden in ur room. Start to reform yourself islamically and maybe your family will look up to your example. Aside from that please dont bottle your feelings inside of u as you will get depressed, its probably best to get an understanding imam to help you out with your problems. And you can always seek help here too. Please keep us posted.


  3. #3
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    Default Re: Family Trouble

    i got them both talking on the phone n there was a big rowwwwwwww but things have calmed down .... for now

    inshaallah they will fix up

    jazakallah for the advise bro


  4. #4
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    Default Re: Family Trouble

    Quote Originally Posted by Tani786 View Post
    Salaam

    Don`t know if this is the right place to ask.

    iv got a bit of a problem. Families have got problems. ill start from the top.

    Grans changed after coming from Pakistan even more cause some marriage agreement has happened in her eldest sons family with the middle sons family(not mine). plus much more problems.

    Then you got daughter in laws of the eldest son who just talk things in to my grans head) as well as the middle family.

    My gran is not happy with my mum cause (who is smallest daughter in law) she gets ripped. they were all good before but now just terrible.

    My mums always been good with my gran helped her in everything but now my mums the bad one cause of these daughter in laws from the eldest sons family (not like these daughter in laws but like my gran just every word daughter in laws is the best(cant explain).

    Situations are happening and i just want advise on how to tackle it head on kasme stress thing and is it good to lie to keep people happy also keep happy if they are apart from each other?

    My mum wants me to lie and keep them happy in other words just slap in grans face and say go to them if u think there best(i.e daughter in laws)

    i dont like ripping people and i want families happy

    paki families are so awked

    give me advise people jazakallah
    I'll start from the top:

    Gran has changed because of that? Okay, that's normal. As long as it's not a change which will be detrimental to her deen and anyone elses.
    Daughter in laws talking things into gran's head? You can do the same too then. Talk to her indirectly and in opposition to what the daughter-in-law said and make sure you give strong reasoning.
    Gran is not happy with your mum cause she gets ripped? I don't understand what ripped is but if it's something that you can't change then tell her nicely why you can't change that and even if she persists, repeat the advice and stay steadfast (don't give in to what she says if it will lead to bad)
    As long as your gran doesn't have a bad feeling towards you then you should get involved. If not, then ask someone else who is close to gran to explain to her.
    As far as lying to keep people happy and whether that is good or bad, then that's not for the one who is giving naseeha to say but more of someone who is giving fatwa.
    And what's this ripping? Seriously. Make sure you try your best to keep the family together, else it will affect YOU.
    Salaam bro


  5. #5
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    Default Re: Family Trouble

    Ripped is getting sworn at, picked on, called names, like when kids pick on each other at school.

    What if the situation is like this. Your mum says " say it or your not my son(something like this)" what do u do in a situation like this.

    jazakallah people for ur answers.


  6. #6
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    Default Re: Family Trouble

    Quote Originally Posted by Tani786 View Post
    Ripped is getting sworn at, picked on, called names, like when kids pick on each other at school.

    What if the situation is like this. Your mum says " say it or your not my son(something like this)" what do u do in a situation like this.

    jazakallah people for ur answers.
    Say what? Dude, you have to be a bit more clear. If she forces you to say something which is displeasing to Allah, then don't, but reject in a very wise and humble manner (such as diverting her attention or something of the like). If she forces you to say something which is neither pleasing or displeasing to Allah (e.g. speaking in your cultural language rather than your other language) then I think you are obliged to follow (and even more obliged if she tells you to say something that is pleasing to Allah).


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