Self abuse problem

[prolinkain]

Hi,

I have been a chronic self abuser (masturbation) for several years. I suspect some damage may have happened. Fortunately i was guided and i realised the error of my ways.

I have a few concerns though...

1) If you happened to be chronic abuser, how did you let go? Is there any hope it will heal? Or should i prepare for the worst?
2) I am deeply frightened of marriage because I feel that my spouse will dominate me because of my weak character.

If the responses are unfit for public consumption. Please do PM me.

[NNoor]

Are you saying you may have caused physical damage to your body?

[prolinkain]

Yes maybe.

I went to a urologist to get it checked out but he said all was normal. Though i am not so sure.

[NNoor]

OK, well as long as you're not in any pain, I guess you don't have to worry.

The only thing you can do is ask Allah for help to stop, and avoid whatever triggers this behavior. Don't worry about marriage, if you turn yourself over to Allah, He will take care of you. To build character, put yourself through some hardships. Do all the household chores, help others, take on as many burdens as you can. Also try to take up a rigorous exercise regimen. If you keep yourself busy and exhaust your energy, it might help reduce your urges.

Finally, the best things I have seen for solving any problems in life: praying 5 times in congregation, whenever possible, more istighfar, more salawat ala Nabi , and a strong relationship with the Quran, where you read at least a minimum amount every day.

[ImamGhazzaali]

You see, there are few issues here:

1) If you sincerely want to repent then know that Allah forgives all sins. In fact, He is inviting the sinners [no matter what sin they have committed] to race to ask forgiveness and He will forgive you.

If your sins are as enormous as the oceans and their depths, He will forgive all.

So never deprive or underestimate Him.

2) If the doctor/urologist has said you're fine then move on. No need to hold back on your past.
The one who has committed a sin and repented, is like the one that never did it.

If you want go back to him in a month again; not a problem.

3) If you feel tempted then busy yourself [read islamic books, lower your gaze, and read articles etc,. on how do get over this issue] and what not.
There is a good thread on this issue. Please search it.

If you have anymore concern, I am here for you.

Wassalam.

[prolinkain]

Wa - Alaikum-us-Salam,

Thank you for your thoughtful responses. They do much to raise my hope.

I have a few responses,

1) Since i have been away from the fold for so long, the idea of starting my life of faith and hope is daunting and startling. If you were someone like this once and now not any more (Alhamdulillah), how did you manage to cut out those aspects which you associated strong pleasure to? I ask this because i am assuming if you started from a low point and did not have much faith to begin with. How did you build your motivation? Thorough sad and grief or hope and happiness. I have not yet known the latter to play any role in my life (chronic depression).

2) You mentioned exercise inclusion in my regimen. I have already scoured the web for such information and the answers are highly mixed. Obviously there is no perfect fit for a person but the issue here is starting one. How did you manage to start at level 0 (Assuming if you were at level 0 to begin with)?

3) Although the urologist determined normal function, there is a creation of scar tissue within the organ, an issue called Peyrone's disease. What causes this is unknown to medical professionals even today. That is why i mentioned before that i was not sure. Apologoes if the details are too graphic.

[omar2006]

Read this post and the following posts. If you stay away, things should get back to normal.
http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/show...l=1#post737321

[prolinkain]

Thanks for the links.

I will look them through.

[Yiluculm]

I have a few concerns :
1. Don’t simply tell the person to stop cutting! The person cutting is usually doing so to cope with a problem. By just telling them to stop, they may feel scared that their coping strategy is being taken away. Instead, focus on providing alternatives, and putting less attention on the cutting per se.

2. Don’t use blame or guilt to make the person stop cutting, because in general it doesn’t usually succeed in changing the negative behavior. Worse, you may end up making them feel bad about themselves, which usually leads to the person not wanting to trust you or be with you.



Juicy Couture Outlet