How to get over our obsessions of things/people?

[muslimsister101]

A insightful quotation I came across...may it be of help,Insha Allah

'If you love somebody,let them go,for if they return,they were always yours.And if they don't,they never were."


May Allah make it easy on you Sister...Ameen.

[mercyofAllah]

Do not stress too much. Know that it is Allah SWT who takes care of everything. I think this should relieve your burden. We only take steps and leave it to Allah SWT. Thats it. Everything is destined and it works on it own way.

Do not carry the weight of the globe on your shoulders

In a certain class of people there rages an internal war, one that doesn't take place on the battlefield, but in one's bedroom, one's office, one's own home. It is a war that results in ulcers or an increase in blood pressure. Everything frustrates these people: they become angry at inflation, furious because the rains came late and exasperated when the value of their currency falls. They are forever perturbed and vexed, no matter what the reason.

They think that every cry is against them. (Qur 'an 63: 4)

My advice to you is this: do not carry the weight of the globe on your shoulders. Let the ground carry the burden of those things that happen. Some people have a heart that is like a sponge, absorbing all kinds of fallacies and misconceptions. It is troubled by the most insignificant of matters; it is the kind of heart that is sure to destroy its possessor.

Those who are principled and are upon the true path are not shaken by hardship; instead, hardship helps to strengthen their resolve and faith. But the reverse is true for the weak-hearted: when they face adversity or trouble, it is only their level of fear that increases. At a time of calamity, there is nothing more beneficial to you than having a brave heart. The one who has such a heart is self-possessed ______ he has firm faith and cool nerves. On the other hand, during the course of any given day, the coward slaughters himself many times with apprehensions and presentiments of impending doom. Therefore, if you desire for yourself a stable life, face all situations with bravery and perseverance.

And let not those who have no certainty of faith discourage you... (Qur'an 30: 60)

Be more resolute than your circumstances and more ferocious than the winds of calamity. May mercy descend upon the weak-hearted, for how often it is that they are shaken by the smallest of tremors?

And verily, you will find them the greediest of mankind for life... (Qur'an 2: 96)

As for those who are resolute, they receive help from their Lord and are confident of His promise.

He sent down calmness and tranquility upon them. (Qur'an 48: 18)
DO NOY BE SAD-By Aaidh ibn Abdullah al-Qarni

[mercyofAllah]

The blessing of pain

Pain is not always a negative force and it is not something that you should always hate. At times a person benefits when he feels pain.

You might remember that, at times when you felt a lot of pain, you sincerely supplicated and remembered Allah. When he is studying, the student often feels the pangs of heavy burden, sometimes perhaps the burden of monotony, yet he eventually leaves this stage of life a scholar. He felt burdened with pain at the beginning but he shined at the end. The aches and pangs of passion, the poverty and the scorn of others, the frustration and anger at injustices these all cause the poet to write flowing and captivating verses. This is because he himself feels pain in his heart, in his nerves, and in his blood, and as a result, he is able to infuse the same emotions, via his work, into the hearts of others. How many painful experiences did the best writers have to undergo, experiences that inspired brilliant works, works that posterity continues to enjoy and benefit from today.

The student who lives the life of comfort and repose and who is not stung by hardships_ or who has never been afflicted with calamity will be an unproductive, lazy, and lethargic person.

Indeed, the poet who knows no pain and who has never tasted bitter disappointment will invariably produce heaps upon heaps of cheap words. This is because his words pour forth from his tongue and not from his feelings or emotion, and though he may comprehend what he has written, his heart and body have not lived the experience.

More worthy and relevant to the aforementioned examples are the lives of the early believers, who lived during the period of revelation and who took part in the most important religious revolution that mankind has ever seen. Indeed, they had greater faith, nobler hearts, more truthful tongues, and deeper knowledge than those that came after them: they had all of these because they lived through pain and suffering, both of which are necessary concomitants to great revolutions. They felt the pains of hunger, of poverty, of rejection, of abuse, of banishment from home and country, of abandonment of all pleasures, of the pains of wounds, and of death and torture. They were in truth chosen ones, the elite of mankind. They were models of purity, nobleness, and sacrifice.

That is because they suffer neither thirst nor fatigue, nor hunger in the Cause of Allah, nor they take any step to raise the anger of disbelievers nor inflict any injury upon an enemy, but is written to their credit as a deed of righteousness. Surely, Allah wastes not the reward of the doers of good. (Qur'an 9: 120)

In the history of the world there are those that have produced their greatest works due to the pain and the suffering that they experienced. Al-Mutanabbi, when afflicted with a severe fever, wrote some of his best poetry. An-Nu'maan ibn Mundhir threatened An-Naabighah with death, and that is when the latter produced some of his best poetry. The well-known line he spoke, roughly translated is:

"Verily, you are the sun, and the other kings are the stars: for when the sun rises, no star in the sky is visible."

In fact there are many examples of those that prospered and achieved as a result of the suffering they experienced.

Therefore, do not become excessively anxious when you think of pain, and do not fear suffering. It might well be that through pain and suffering you will become stronger. And furthermore, for you to live with a burning and passionate heart that has been stung is purer and nobler than to live the dispassionate existence of a person who has a cold heart and a shortsighted outlook.

But Allah was averse to their being sent forth, so He made them lag behind, and it was said [to them], "Sit you among those who sit [at home].” (Qur'an 9: 46)

The words of a passionate sermon can reach the innermost depths of the heart and penetrate the deepest regions of the soul, usually because the one who gives such sermons has himself experienced pain and suffering.

He knew what was in their hearts, and He sent down As-Sakeenah [calmness and tranquility] upon them, and He rewarded them with a near victory. (Qur'an 48: 18)

I have read many books of poetry, and a high percentage of them are passionless, without life or soul. This is because their authors never endured hardship, and because they were composed among surroundings of comfort. Hence the works of such authors were cold, like blocks of ice.

I have read books filled with sermons that do not shake a hair on the body of the listener and that lack an atom's weight of impact. The orator (whose sermons were put to print) is not speaking with feeling and sentiment, or in other words, pain and suffering.

They say with their mouths, that which is not in their hearts. (Qur'an 3: 167)

If you wish to affect and influence others, whether it is with your speech or with your poetry, or even with your actions, you must first feel the passion inside of you. You must be moved yourself by the meanings of what you are trying to convey. Then, and then only, you will come to realize that you have an influence upon others.

But when we send down water [rain] on it, it is stirred [to life]; it swells and puts forth every lovely kind [of growth]. (Qur 'an 22: 5)

[Abu Zakir]

Have a read of this:

Why do people have to leave each other?
http://www.yasminmogahed.com/2011/11...ve-each-other/

[Acacia]

Have a read of this:

Why do people have to leave each other?
http://www.yasminmogahed.com/2011/11...ve-each-other/

[HighHopes]

C) - We just don't know how to address the problem. This is the most severe.

Well actually brother, B answers C because if it seems that way to us, then we’re simply not trying hard enough to figure it out. There is a way to figure out or address all problems that face us. Truly, this is an incredibly liberating state of mind and heart if we internalize it--> Nothing can stop us but ourselves. May Allah SWT help us all live by that. Amin Ya Allah!

Barak Allah ta'aala.

[HighHopes]

these two paragraphs are very touching!

as these paragraphs. strongly indicate that u need to share ur feelings with ur family before it gets too concentrated...

Yes it hurt to read that too but feeling down won’t help anything in the least bit.

I’m 100% positive if you, sister hayya, supplicate to Allah SWT the following: “My Allah! I’m resisting turning to other than you for comfort or aid because indeed you are the only source of all help and comfort. Ya Allah! Help me believe that with all my heart! Ya Allah! There is no help but Your help so help me Ya Allaaaaah!!!” Then hold out crying on someone’s shoulder or complaining to anyone, Allah SWT will solve your problems with such finesse and in a way you never ever imagined. This is a fact. We are very unfair to Allah SWT; He SWT is so much kinder than we give Him SWT credit for.

Barak Allah ta’aala.

[muslimsister101]

Yes it hurt to read that too but feeling down won’t help anything in the least bit.

I’m 100% positive if you, sister hayya, supplicate to Allah SWT the following: “My Allah! I’m resisting turning to other than you for comfort or aid because indeed you are the only source of all help and comfort. Ya Allah! Help me believe that with all my heart! Ya Allah! There is no help but Your help so help me Ya Allaaaaah!!!” Then hold out crying on someone’s shoulder or complaining to anyone, Allah SWT will solve your problems with such finesse and in a way you never ever imagined. This is a fact. We are very unfair to Allah SWT; He SWT is so much kinder than we give Him SWT credit for.

Barak Allah ta’aala.

JazakAllah kyran Sister and what a beautiful dua.

[hayya]

Jazak'Allah khair everyone. Your posts have helped me tremendously. Alhumdillah. I will read all the posts again with more depth and take on board all advise n suggestions.

Im replying from my phone so I apologise I cant reply to everyone individually. Im glad I came here. Iv been contemplating for months and few days ago just happened to post (as a last resort).

Il bookmark the thread and come here when feeling down. Thank you all!! May Allah swt shower his generous blessings amd mercy on you and your families and give you the strength and courage to get through your tests and tribulations with ease insha'allah

Wonderful advice and beautiful duas in this thread. Insha'allah alot of ppl can benefit.

[Acacia]

Jazak'Allah khair everyone. Your posts have helped me tremendously. Alhumdillah. I will read all the posts again with more depth and take on board all advise n suggestions.

Im replying from my phone so I apologise I cant reply to everyone individually. Im glad I came here. Iv been contemplating for months and few days ago just happened to post (as a last resort).

Il bookmark the thread and come here when feeling down. Thank you all!! May Allah swt shower his generous blessings amd mercy on you and your families and give you the strength and courage to get through your tests and tribulations with ease insha'allah

Wonderful advice and beautiful duas in this thread. Insha'allah alot of ppl can benefit.

Ameen sister, insha'Allah. (hug)