Islam and sex...what to do?

[Auzer]

Title explains it all...Why "sex" is SUCH a big taboo in Islam? People can't even discuss this topic with "elders" ... Muslims behave as if their sons and specially their daughters don't have feelings or hormones. EVERYONE of us has some body needs or desires. Sexual depression cause frustration,tensions and intolerance in the society and that is what we see in many Muslim societies.'Sexual tension' MUST be relieved and body should be health. Too much sexual repression can have devastating effects.How many cases we have seen in countries like Pakistan where people raped young girls , had sex with deadbodies etc? Sexual repression effects your psychology. If God didn't want us to do sex then why he made our body as such? In today's age,we can't afford to marry our children at the age of 14/15 ....Muslim societies have alot of 'out-of-marriage' sex and we all know it but no one is even ready to talk on this issue. What halal alternatives we can provide to Muslim youths?

How about having Nikkah at an early age (16/17) but girl should keep in living in her parent house? Just like people here in USA have "Girl Friend/Boy friend" relationships.This would be a halal way of doing that.Also encourage and educate your teens about sex and tell them not to have kids UNTIL they can support them? As teens are often emotional , expect more 'divorces' than normal is such cases..societies should become more 'acceptable' for divorces and Muslim men should not look down upon divorced girl.. As a young guy living in the West that have friends in Pakistan too..I can tell u this..This IS a SERIOUS social problem..not only for the Muslims in the West but also Muslim teenagers/youngsters living all over the world.I myself have some very noble girl friends (not girlfriends) who didn't even know about "sex" when they were tricked into having sex . . .

Also , please be practical and don't post things like "fast as our prophet said" ...or keep your gaze down etc.. I'm not talking like that...one can not fast all his life.. or keep his gaze down...interaction with females is inevitable...what are practical solutions of this?

Discuss..

[omar2006]

http://www.daruliftaa.com/searchresult?q=sex

http://islamicbookslibrary.wordpress...10/12/19/1693/

[Abdul1234]

Title explains it all...Why "sex" is SUCH a big taboo in Islam? People can't even discuss this topic with "elders" ... Muslims behave as if their sons and specially their daughters don't have feelings or hormones. EVERYONE of us has some body needs or desires. Sexual depression cause frustration,tensions and intolerance in the society and that is what we see in many Muslim societies.'Sexual tension' MUST be relieved and body should be health. Too much sexual repression can have devastating effects.How many cases we have seen in countries like Pakistan where people raped young girls , had sex with deadbodies etc? Sexual repression effects your psychology. If God didn't want us to do sex then why he made our body as such? In today's age,we can't afford to marry our children at the age of 14/15 ....Muslim societies have alot of 'out-of-marriage' sex and we all know it but no one is even ready to talk on this issue. What halal alternatives we can provide to Muslim youths?

How about having Nikkah at an early age (16/17) but girl should keep in living in her parent house? Just like people here in USA have "Girl Friend/Boy friend" relationships.This would be a halal way of doing that.Also encourage and educate your teens about sex and tell them not to have kids UNTIL they can support them? As teens are often emotional , expect more 'divorces' than normal is such cases..societies should become more 'acceptable' for divorces and Muslim men should not look down upon divorced girl.. As a young guy living in the West that have friends in Pakistan too..I can tell u this..This IS a SERIOUS social problem..not only for the Muslims in the West but also Muslim teenagers/youngsters living all over the world.I myself have some very noble girl friends (not girlfriends) who didn't even know about "sex" when they were tricked into having sex . . .

Also , please be practical and don't post things like "fast as our prophet said" ...or keep your gaze down etc.. I'm not talking like that...one can not fast all his life.. or keep his gaze down...interaction with females is inevitable...what are practical solutions of this?

Discuss..

Brother you have a lot of wrong ideas on this issue.

for a start you say..I myself have some very noble girl friends (not girlfriends) - stay away from non-mahram girls it is contrary to Islam to have girlfriends be they sexual ones or just chums.

Prophet (saws) told us that baaligh/mature people with sexual feelings should marry.

Delaying marriage is not the way of Islam it is the way of the kuffar.

you say we can't afford to marry our children at the age of 14/15 - Islam teaches that if they are physically and emotionally mature at this age they should marry. On the other hand, if they are not physically and emotionally mature then they should obviously not do so for many good reasons, marriage is not a game and it is about far more than sex.

Islamic marriage is not expensive, the costs of marriage that you imagine are nothing to do with Islam and are nothing that Islam approves of.

the problems you are bringing up are

1. the fault of non-Muslim authorities and westernized Muslim parents who cause marriage to be delayed for a long time after youths reach sexual maturity - this causes many problems as you have pointed out.

2. the fault of haughty Muslim families who have turned marriage into an expensive way to show off - this is against the Sunnah and against the way of the Sahaba who had simple marriages that were affordable.

[Auzer]

Brother you have a lot of wrong ideas on this issue.

for a start you say..I myself have some very noble girl friends (not girlfriends) - stay away from non-mahram girls it is contrary to Islam to have girlfriends be they sexual ones or just chums.

Well they weren't my girlfriends...they were the girls I knew and we were "friends" in a sense that we talked to eachother...nothing more than that. And you can't 'stay away' from girls...that is why I said to be practical. If you're a student , you have to interact , talk and discuss with girls...Isolation of girls and boys isn't a good idea in today's world.

Prophet (saws) told us that baaligh/mature people with sexual feelings should marry.

Delaying marriage is not the way of Islam it is the way of the kuffar.

Well , 'sexual feelings' start coming at VERY early age (in terms of marriage)..By the time you're 13 , you are 'baligh' but definitely you can't get married at this age.

you say we can't afford to marry our children at the age of 14/15 - Islam teaches that if they are physically and emotionally mature at this age they should marry. On the other hand, if they are not physically and emotionally mature then they should obviously not do so for many good reasons, marriage is not a game and it is about far more than sex.

Again , a 17-18 year old girl/boy can never be "emotionally mature" enough to get married. That is what I'm saying..if you're gonna have marriages in these ages...get ready for higher divorce rates...and this shouldn't be a problem..but since most Muslim societies are oppressive towards women..a divorced girl will be looked down upon...unlike the divorced guy...

Islamic marriage is not expensive, the costs of marriage that you imagine are nothing to do with Islam and are nothing that Islam approves of.

the problems you are bringing up are

1. the fault of non-Muslim authorities and westernized Muslim parents who cause marriage to be delayed for a long time after youths reach sexual maturity - this causes many problems as you have pointed out.

2. the fault of haughty Muslim families who have turned marriage into an expensive way to show off - this is against the Sunnah and against the way of the Sahaba who had simple marriages that were affordable.

Yeah , Islamic marriage shouldn't be expensive...and in early marriages , having sex on the first night isn't a good idea..but then again..isn't it against Islam?

[Abdul1234]

Well , 'sexual feelings' start coming at VERY early age (in terms of marriage)..By the time you're 13 , you are 'baligh' but definitely you can't get married at this age.

did Allah (SWT) who is the Creator of the human beings say this?

no

did Prophet Muhammad (saws) who was the best of creation say this?

no

did you say this with your infinite wisdom (that was learned in the happy bastion of wisdom that is the west)?

yes

[Auzer]

did Allah (SWT) who is the Creator of the human beings say this?

no

did Prophet Muhammad (saws) who was the best of creation say this?

no

did you say this with your infinite wisdom (that was learned in the happy bastion of wisdom that is the west)?

yes

This is circular logic .....

Did Allah gave us brain?

Yes

Did Allah tell us to use that brain to find the secrets of nature?

Yes

Did Humans gained knowledge with Allah's will?

Yes

Does our knowledge tell us that a girl/boy of 13 years age is not mentally , emotionally and even physically ready for a demanding and serious relationship like marriage?

Yes!

So see , Allah didn't say this because he wanted us humans to find it out...and we did. Its common sense...

[Abdul1234]

This is circular logic .....

Did Allah gave us brain? YesDid Allah tell us to use that brain to find the secrets of nature?Yes Did Humans gained knowledge with Allah's will?Yes
Does our knowledge tell us that a girl/boy of 13 years age is not mentally , emotionally and even physically ready for a demanding and serious relationship like marriage? Yes!So see , Allah didn't say this because he wanted us humans to find it out...and we did. Its common sense...

its funny I know someone else on here who refers to things as circular logic when they aren't - he says even more controversial things than you are doing

its funny how Allah allowed baligh people to get married at thirteen but you imply He was wrong and ignorant to do so

its funny how the sahaba during the time of Prophet Muhammad (saws) allowed baligh people to get married at thirteen but you imply they were wrong and ignorant to do so

its funny how the bani Israel during the time of the earlier Prophets (as) allowed baligh people to get married at thirteen but you imply they were wrong and ignorant to do so

we didn't have to find out this out through big brainwork,

because we already knew through the established Sunnah of Islam

[Abdul1234]

Again , a 17-18 year old girl/boy can never be "emotionally mature" enough to get married.

did Allah (SWT) who is the Creator of the human beings say this?

no

did Prophet Muhammad (saws) who was the best of creation say this?

no

did you say this with your special understandings (that were learned in the capital of satanic 'wisdom' that is the west)?

yes

[Abdul1234]

That is what I'm saying..if you're gonna have marriages in these ages...get ready for higher divorce rates.

this is not true in the Arab countries, so it may not be true amongst the Muslims of the west either

in any case divorce is permitted and is halal whilst zina is amongst the greatest of sins,

the risk of divorce is better than the risk of zina

[sunni-from-iraq]

i must say that this is also from schools about a couple years ago when i was 13 or 14 we wached a movie in health class that had sex scens in it and that just gets the idea into kids heads the movie was "shes to young" and i found it so disturbing i didnt look up and wach instead i did some math homework or spanish dousent matter.... so that is why it is also the schools fault