Question: I would like to know what are the sunna to follow for my wife, so that she becomes more beautiful. Is there any Dua or sunna we have to make so that my wife become more beautiful? Alhamdulliah my wife is beautiful but since i live in a country like Australia sometimes when I see other non-muslim girls wearing short dresses, i feel like wish my wife were more beautiful. How can i stop it? I am trying my best to stop looking at other girls but its very hard. Even sometimes other girls just come in front of me while I am in the train, bus or on street. Is there any Dua for it so that i can stay away from this sin and make my heart filled with love only for my wife and see her as most beautiful wife in my eyes?
Assalāmu `alaikum Warahmatullāhi Wabrakatuh,
Mashā’Allah, your desire to be content with your wife and regard her as the most beautiful woman in your eyes is commendable. We make du῾ā’ that Allah Ta’ala fulfills your wish. Aameen.
You state your wife is beautiful but when you see other woman, you feel your wife should be more beautiful. Beauty is competitive. One excels the other. Assuming you see the most beautiful woman today, for how long will she be the most beautiful person in your sight?
Within a short period you may see someone even more beautiful. The beauty of the previous most beautiful person will now be insignificant. Now someone else is most beautiful! There is no ending in competing beauties. The levels of beauty are infinite. You will never ever be completely satisfied with the most beautiful woman. The beauty of a woman is relative and also limited. This is a reality and one cannot deny this. If one does not put a block on himself and exercises restraint in looking at women with competing beauties, he will get addicted to the sickness of enjoying the beauties, form and shape of women.
This is similar to a drug addict, or an alcoholic. He faces some problems in life and takes one dose that puts him on a “high” and takes him away from the world of reality to the world of fantasy. That escape is temporary. When he gets sober, the problem is bigger. Similarly, when a married person goes on a “high” with the form, shape and beauty of a woman, that is also short lived with no fulfillment.
When he faces the reality of life, he then realizes the harms of the evil act of not controlling one’s eyes. The heart and mind of such a person is caught up with another woman’s appearance and now suddenly his wife who he cherished so much is not that beautiful. This then has a rippling effect in ones marriage, anger, attitude, fights, bedroom complications etc. This is exactly what Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam explained:
النَّظْرَةُ سَهْمٌ مِنْ سِهَامِ إِبْلِيسَ مَسْمُومَةٌ
The sight of a person (at the opposite gender) is a spear from the spears of shaitān.
(Mustadrak Hākim Vol. 4 Pg. 349)
Just one sight on a woman and see the damage. The sight on a woman is like touching a live wire, it shocks.
The simple solution is as prescribed in the Quran:
قُلْ لِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَغُضُّوا مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِمْ وَيَحْفَظُوا فُرُوجَهُمْ ذَلِكَ أَزْكَى لَهُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ خَبِيرٌ بِمَا يَصْنَعُونَ
Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them: And Allah is well acquainted with all that they do.
To lower the gaze is avoiding the problem. This seems to be a tough command. When one lowers his gaze, he fears he is losing out on the beautiful sight. In reality when he brings the courage and bears that pain of not seeing the woman, he saves himself from a bigger pain. Besides that, to bear the pain of not seeing the beauty of woman out of fear for Allah gives rise to the sweetness of imaan. That pain is for the pleasure of Allah. If you are in an unavoidable situation of woman, guard your eyes to the best of your ability. If your eyes fall on a woman, turn it away. Don’t feed the heart and soul with more of it. A person's nafs and eyes are in his control. He has the strength to control them. All it requires is courage and focus on the pleasure of Allah.
Exercising restraint and controlling ones gaze gives one an unparalleled enjoyment of Imān.
And Allah Ta'āla Knows Best,
Muftī Ebrahim Desai
35 Candella Rd, Durban, South Africa
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A beautiful dua.
A Husband said this to his wife; If Jannah was a flower I would pick it for you, if Jannah was a bird I would catch it for you, If Jannah was a house I’d build it for you, but since Jannah is a place no eye has ever seen,
I make dua to ALLAH to reserve it for you.