"Labels", Masjids, & Ex-Muslim Friends... Oh my!

[Mevlevi]

Brothers & Sisters!

I am a VERY recent reverted brother to Islam... as in the past month. I studied Middle Eastern & Islamic History in college and in fact have my degree in it... however, it wasn't until 2 years after graduating with my degree that I've decided to revert... I've found myself in a great place and time in my life and Islam speaks to me in a way it never REALLY has before; no longer is it just an academic study that I analyze from the outside, it is now the foundation of who I am, !

Still, need some advice... I have a good start: a strong understanding and knowledge of the Qur'an & Islam (I've already read the Noble Qur'an cover to cover), a supportive family (my dad just spoke to me tonight about it, said it was awesome that I had found something that was making my life better), and a very positive attitude. But I have 3 major issues:

1) The accusation of a "new label"
In the past, I have bounced around religiously... I have bounced from Hinduism, to Atheism, and to LaVeyan Satanism... and now to Islam. Because of this, some of my acquaintances and one family member has accused me of just "taking on a new label" and that I'm "just doing it for attention". I know that at the end of the day, it's between myself and Allah (swt), but I dunno... I don't want to seem like a histrionic sycophant and want to make sure people know I am sincere in my new life. Thoughts?

2) Finding a masjid
There are a few masjids in my area; 3 Sunni and 1 Ismaili, to be exact. However, in my experience they all tend to be very conservative, Salafi-run, or divided along ethnic lines (e.g. it might be strange for me- an American- to attend a mosque that is 100% Bosnian). How should I approach this situation?

3) Ex-Muslima friend
One of my best friends is a Bosniak who is now a strict atheist. She has a stroooong dislike of Islam. I'm not quite sure how to tell her about my reversion, as I can hear her now: "Oh man, REALLY? You've gotta be kidding me..." and she'll proceed to lecture me about how awful it is to be a Muslim and I should take her word for it because she knows from personal experience. Any suggestions on how to approach the situation as tactfully as possible?

Thank you guys so much and thank you for helping through this amazing event in my life! Peace

[Hafiz Gee]

Salam

COngratulations, on entering the fold, may Allah continue to shower b;lessings on you and make things easy for you.

1) Be patient....its the only thing i can think of.

2) It's better to find a masjid that is active, and conducts many English programs so that you may benefit and understand. regardless for the purpose of attending prayers don't let the language barrier be a turn off.

Don't get too caught up in salafi/sufi/conservative/moderate or other labels you may hear. A masjid is a masjid, just as a muslim is a muslim, the labels are superficial.

However it goes without saying that the masjid must be a sunni one.

3) remember to observe the propoer islamic ettiquete when dealing with female friends, lower gaze, avoid shaking hands. these are both very difficult things and may take time, but those who have mastered them say that one can only experience the joys of SIlam once the nafs has been suppressed. and this can only take place after one stops looking at or touching the opposite gender.

whenever dealing with her try to bring to light those aspects of silam which she may never have been aware about and which may prove very appealing to her.

[Abdullah.ibn.Islam]

Welcome to the forum ,

as for the labeling thing - since it seems like you were adherent to many different religions before, you will have to give it time. Since I suppose you plan on sticking with Islam forever, like we all do, people will notice that you did not just "pick a label", but that you are actually a Muslim. Good Islamic behavior will help a great deal, naturally.

As for the masjid - this seems to happen everywhere, especially what you say about people being divided based on ethnic lines. If you get to know any of the imams of these mosques, they might be able to introduce you to the group and you will fit in better. Sometimes you could be seen as an interesting new addition and the group might accept you as such.

When it comes to your friend who is ex-Muslim, all you can do is be patient and firm in your manners and beliefs. Who knows, if she sees you as a good Muslim, she might even return to Islam.

Good luck to you on your journey.

[Mevlevi]

شكرا, guys!

However it goes without saying that the masjid must be a sunni one.

Yeah, definitely gonna stick with Sunni, with my madhhab being Hanafi and my Sufi tariqa being Mevlevi. I love my Shi'a and Ismaili friends, but it didn't speak to me in the same way and in my studies in college I found Shi'a exhausting to keep up with!

as for the labeling thing - since it seems like you were adherent to many different religions before, you will have to give it time. Since I suppose you plan on sticking with Islam forever, like we all do, people will notice that you did not just "pick a label", but that you are actually a Muslim. Good Islamic behavior will help a great deal, naturally.

The good thing is, MOST of my friends and family know I'm genuine: in fact some of my non-Muslim friends have joked "Really? It took THIS long for this to happen?!" and "Glad you finally stopped beating around the bush!" Considering my passion for academically studying Islam for 8 years, it's honestly come as absolutely NO surprise to the majority of my buddies and family. my few buddies who are accusing me of this will see in my actions and life that I've become what I really was all along.

If you get to know any of the imams of these mosques, they might be able to introduce you to the group and you will fit in better. Sometimes you could be seen as an interesting new addition and the group might accept you as such.

This is very true, brother! Now that I think about it, the ethnic groups that the masjids in my area are comprised of are communities that I am informed about and who I have acquaintances/friends in. Considering I am aware of the sensibilities of- and the particularities of how Islam is practiced in- those cultures, it may not be as hard as I originally thought when I posted.

When it comes to your friend who is ex-Muslim, all you can do is be patient and firm in your manners and beliefs. Who knows, if she sees you as a good Muslim, she might even return to Islam.

Yeah, true 'nuff. I totally understand why she feels that way: she came from a family where Islam was used as a cover with which her parents could justify emotionally and verbally abusing her while at the same time being terribly inconsistent Muslims (her dad was an alcoholic for years). She also had another American friend of hers revert to Islam, which he too eventually (ab)used as a vehicle to justify his own arrogance, disrespect of sisters, and to appear "holier than thou".

I also understand how it can feel to see someone embrace the religion that you left: in the past, I remember feeling annoyed and exasperated the few times that I had friends rejoin Christianity despite my feeling that they should "know better". Regardless, this sister and I are great friends and I have faith that eventually she'll understand...

Salaam, brothers!

[Revert2001]

Listen Brother, take it from me, a convert for 12 years.


Do not get hung up on schools, sects, or ethnic culture.

Knowing Islamic history is fine. But concentrate on learning the Quran and the Sunnah.

Everything else will falling into place.


As for the nay sayers; longevity will show sincerity. So pay them no mind.

About your lady friend; she it bitter and loves the dunya more than Allah (swt)

Distance yourself from her until you are stronger in the Deen.

When she see how dedicated you are; you will be like a mirror to her.

She will either hate her reflection and you.

Or she how far she has fallen and repent.


Last, find a good Mosque; even if you have to travel.

Hopefully, one that has a mixture of people for different countries.

Because Masjids where the membership is basically from one country.

Usually, have a lot of cultural baggage from that country mixed in with their Islam.

[bugmenot]

Non-muslims are converting and Muslims are leaving Islam, preparation of a new era

Welcome here bro may Allah guide us all.

[Revert2001]

Non-muslims are converting and Muslims are leaving Islam, preparation of a new era

Welcome here bro may Allah guide us all.

Thank You

Actually, you are quite correct.

Cultural muslims are deserting Islam.

Yet, muslims like me have a vision of spreading Islam globally.


The Mosque I attend has an American convert as the Imam.

Imam Suhiab Webb at the large Boston Masjid. (check him out on YouTube)

We have a strong focus on Dawa.

And insist that foreign born muslims leave their cultural baggage at the door.

[kakarot_999]

Non-muslims are converting and Muslims are leaving Islam, preparation of a new era

Welcome here bro may Allah guide us all.

Salaamu alaiykum
Laa hawla wa laa quwata illa billah. Don't say that. May Allah protect the muslim ummah. Inshallah the preparation of a new era is our muslim children when we die as muslims inshallah. Revert muslims are possibly much more stronger and beloved to Allah than the born muslims like me and I completely respect them and look up to them for that . But no way am I moving aside for any person, muslim or non-muslim. Islam is big enough for the both of us alhamdullilah.

[bugmenot]

Salaamu alaiykum
Laa hawla wa laa quwata illa billah. Don't say that. May Allah protect the muslim ummah. Inshallah the preparation of a new era is our muslim children when we die as muslims inshallah. Revert muslims are possibly much more stronger and beloved to Allah than the born muslims like me and I completely respect them and look up to them for that . But no way am I moving aside for any person, muslim or non-muslim. Islam is big enough for the both of us alhamdullilah.

Aameen.
What I said is but an observation (not a wish) : the 2nd+ muslim generation that was born and bred in western countries are either 1) religious 2) "not practising" or 3) murtads. This is a sad state but who's responsible for this condition of ours ?

May Allah keep us all steadfast.

[abdulwahhab]

Welcome to Islam. May Allah bless us and increase us in imaan.

Brother, since you're a new convert, your first focus should be upon yourself. Get acclimatized to living like a Muslim - at least get through Ramadhan and then worry about how others may perceive you, whether they be your friends or family. What does tend to happen is if a person converts or becomes religious, people tend to become aggressive whenever the topic of religion is touched, even if tangentially.

May Allah increase our zeal in our deen and keep us steadfast upon what we know.