help needed for marriage

[syedasraar]

asssalamu alaikum dear brothers and sisters.
my name is syed living in madras, TN, India. i am in love with a girl who is hindu. we both love each other very much and want to marry each other. so i went and enquired at the nearby madarasa. they told me that the girl should convert to islam only then can the marriage will be conducted. now the problem is the girl doesnt want to change her religion as it is her identity of her parents, which she wants to protect. even if she is willing for conversion, her parents will not agree for her to get converted. is there any way we can get married proper way (please dont say register marriage) without offending either of our parents. i want this marriage to happen with both the family presence, support and blessings. please help me.

[Devoted]

I think the two of you should learn more about Islam. I say this because if the both of you say you love each other then how come the topic of religion hasn't come up before? How are you going to raise your children?

[Aram]

you can't marry her unless she converts to Islam, we are not allowed to marry mushriks

[Melbourne]

Marriage is a big step brother. This woman who is not Muslim & will not convert will raise your children one day... Think about it long and hard.
Wallah we should never marry non Muslims for the sake of Allah & for the sake of yours, your parents & your future childrens sakes. It will only cause so much harm to all including her family.

[timeup]

asssalamu alaikum dear brothers and sisters.
my name is syed living in madras, TN, India. i am in love with a girl who is hindu. we both love each other very much and want to marry each other. so i went and enquired at the nearby madarasa. they told me that the girl should convert to islam only then can the marriage will be conducted. now the problem is the girl doesnt want to change her religion as it is her identity of her parents, which she wants to protect. even if she is willing for conversion, her parents will not agree for her to get converted. is there any way we can get married proper way (please dont say register marriage) without offending either of our parents. i want this marriage to happen with both the family presence, support and blessings. please help me.

bro-
protect her dignity. do not do anything for which you both could be ashamed of later on.
leave her saying politely that I am a muslim, I am not allowed to marry a girl who doesnot recognise the one & only creator.

do not indulge in any sort of materialistic desires with her from now onwards & avoid her completely.
explain her the reason politely & say sorry to her & leave her in a state of purity.

inSha Allah she will convert else Allah :swt: will give u a better match.

[syedasraar]

the religion topic has come before too. both of us are secular and religios tolerant. but thats the not case with our parents. they are sort of old minded. and we have sorted out religion influence in different things. she too has no issue in living with a muslim family with muslim traditions and also following it. she has been intereseted to know more abt islam about the namaz and other features. nor do i have any issue with going to temples (been with my friends many times since i was small) though i offer namaz to allah atleast on fridays that the kids will be bought up in islamic way only. she has no objection to it. though she understands that a girl after marriage is husband's property following her husband way of life. the only thing which is sort of disturbing her is she is leaving her parent'd identity. say for example u have been living 25-28 yrs of ur life with name 'abc' and place 'efg' in all ur education/ work. and changing it 'xyz' and place also to 'uvw' . it will be difficult for you to accept that u are no more abc but xyz. also if she is willing to take up 'xyz' as her name, her parents wont allow it. thts the point where the whole thing stands

[Shuayb Abdul-Khaaliq]

I ask for your forgiveness in advance if anything I say in my reply below comes across as cold, rude, or harsh.

the religion topic has come before too. both of us are secular and religios tolerant. but thats the not case with our parents. they are sort of old minded. and we have sorted out religion influence in different things. she too has no issue in living with a muslim family with muslim traditions and also following it. she has been intereseted to know more abt islam about the namaz and other features. nor do i have any issue with going to temples (been with my friends many times since i was small) though i offer namaz to allah atleast on fridays that the kids will be bought up in islamic way only. she has no objection to it. though she understands that a girl after marriage is husband's property following her husband way of life. the only thing which is sort of disturbing her is she is leaving her parent'd identity. say for example u have been living 25-28 yrs of ur life with name 'abc' and place 'efg' in all ur education/ work. and changing it 'xyz' and place also to 'uvw' . it will be difficult for you to accept that u are no more abc but xyz. also if she is willing to take up 'xyz' as her name, her parents wont allow it. thts the point where the whole thing stands

Brother you obviously need to learn more about Islam yourself before marrying this or any other girl. "Secular" and "religious tolerant"? Not sure what you mean by that (I know what you mean, but don't know what you mean by it in context of Islam and your situation).

If by calling your parents "old minded" you mean "following the commands of Allah and not allowing me to marry a hindu girl", then you should rest assured that this "old mindedness" will remain in Muslim parents worldwide until the day of Qiyamah, Insha'Allah.

she too has no issue in living with a muslim family with muslim traditions and also following it.

That's not such great news for your situation as she is not willing to convert for the right reasons. From what you're saying, she is willing to "put up with it" for you. Reversion to Islam can only happen for the right reasons, which is for Allah's sake, and not for a creation's sake.

she has been intereseted to know more abt islam about the namaz and other features.

That's great Alhamdulillah. Cut off all contact with her and introduce her to a pious Muslim sister (let's read that again, sister, as in a female, which you are not). She can learn more about Islam from a Muslim sister(s) and if Allah swt gives her hidayat, then she can convert (revert) for the right reasons, and not for the sake of wanting to marry you. Her becoming Muslim has to be independent of you wanting to marry each other. She has to want to be Muslim whether you are in the picture or not, and only then it is a conversion for the right reasons.

though i offer namaz to Allah atleast on fridays

(I capitalized "Allah" for you). Masha'Allah, if you are offering Jummah regularly then you're ahead of the Muslims who have even completely abandoned Jummah. However, did you know that namaz is Fardh (obligatory, compulsory, required) on every single sane Muslim for a total of Five times daily, and not just on Jummah?

the kids will be bought up in islamic way only.

How will you accomplish that when your wife would be non-Muslim and you don't even pray 5 times daily yourself? What do you think are the chances of you even praying Jummah once you bring a hindu wife home?

she has no objection to it.

Don't worry just give it time. It would only be a matter of time before your kids would become confused whether they're hindu or Muslim or a "little bit of both" and be no different than many other 'confused' kids we have walking around here in the West. Insha'Allah they would receive hidayat regardless by the grace of Allah, as Allah does not need the parents to "care" in order to give their children hidayat (there are millions of examples of children being devout and pious Muslims when their parents are either non-Muslim or Muslim but completely disconnected from Islam, similarly there are just as many examples of children who are astray and their parents are some 'sheikhs' and what not). However, you would have no reward in them becoming pious as a result of that hidayat, rather you would only collect sin and dig a deeper grave for yourself for conceiving your children in an invalid manner (with a hindu wife) and then not facilitating a proper Islamic upbringing for them. You can make your grave real deep, it's up to you how deep you want it.

though she understands that a girl after marriage is husband's property

I'm going to assume here that you just chose your words poorly and did not have the intention of saying this sentence in this manner. In case you actually meant to say this and chose your words carefully, then I have a newsflash for you: in Islam, a wife is not her husband's "property". A house can be someone's property. A car can be someone's property. Your shoes can be your property. A human being cannot be another human being's "property".

the only thing which is sort of disturbing her is she is leaving her parent'd identity. say for example u have been living 25-28 yrs of ur life with name 'abc' and place 'efg' in all ur education/ work. and changing it 'xyz' and place also to 'uvw' . it will be difficult for you to accept that u are no more abc but xyz.

Yup, that's 'standard' for anyone who has converted/reverted to Islam. I'm not a revert but ask any revert and they will tell you what kind of difficulties and trials they had to go through with their parents and family when they accepted Islam. What sort of hardships they had to put up with. Open up this post and scroll down to the part I quoted under "And then there are people like this..." and read that. That is the type of hardships people go through after accepting Islam. They do it because they've found Allah , they have found imaan, and they are willing to pay any price to keep it.

also if she is willing to take up 'xyz' as her name, her parents wont allow it. thts the point where the whole thing stands

Naturally, why would they? I have yet to hear of someone converting to Islam and their non-Muslim family jumping up and down with joy. Sure, it's possible, but I personally have yet to hear of such a thing. Have you heard of any stories where a non-Muslim told their family that they have become Muslim and their family started screaming with joy, hugging them, and jumping up and down in celebration? Please do share.

-----------------------------------------

I'm not sure how old you are, but it would seem by your post that you are young and naive (nothing wrong with being naive, we all are naive and it gets better as you get older and gain more experience Alhamdulillah). If you are not 'young' and are in fact 'older' (30+), well then Insha'Allah start learning about the deen as your clock (like all of ours) is running out and death doesn't ask for our permission before it comes to take our soul.

Lastly, to be honest with you I am just not sure why you made this post. Do you expect the Muslim brothers, sisters, and scholars here to find you a "loop hole" where you can "legitimately" marry a mushrik and idol worshiper? If you had asked that you were wanting to marry a sister from the people of the books (Christian or Jewish), maybe it would make some sense, as it is 'allowed' in Islam but even then many scholars recommend against it, and it's just not smart to do so in this day and age given how completely modified those religions have become... but you're asking if you can marry a hindu, a polytheist, a mushrik. It just doesn't make any sense whatsoever.

It's like asking "I want to start drinking alcohol, please help me find an Islamically compliant way to start doing so", or; "I really want to start eating pork, please help me find an Islamically correct way to start eating it", etc. You would never ask such things on a forum (or anywhere), would you?

Come on brother, wake up and smell the coffee...

At the minimum, you need to take some time off from your 'relationship' with this girl and really think hard about it. Put your desires aside for a moment and really think about the finer details. Your kid is born today. What happens then? Think about every little detail.

If you go through with this you will regret it later. In this life and probably more so in the hereafter. Allah knows best. The fire of Jahannum is real and cannot be extinguished, the goodness of Jannah is there and cannot be burned away. If your actions are landing you in Jahannum on the day of judgement, do you possess the ability to say "no thanks that's ok, I'm not going to Jahannum, I'll go towards Jannah instead"? When the angel of death comes to take your soul and you see what's about to happen to you, do you possess the ability to say "ok fine now I see I messed up, can you leave and come back in 5 years so I can repent and become a model Muslim, then you can take my soul? Thanks see you later!"? No one has the ability to do any of these things, no one. This is the Kingdom of ALLAH only.

How will you answer the questions in the grave? Do you even know the three questions which will be asked in the grave?

Do you know what sort of punishment you have the potential to bring upon yourself if you marry this hindu girl and have children with her who end up leaving Islam, or if they don't leave Islam but just 'move away' some more from Islam and then their children move away some more until the next generations are completely non-Muslim, even mushrik? Do you know that you will be held accountable for every single generation which comes as a result of these children? How much punishment are you really trying to accumulate for yourself?

Do you know that all of this stuff, and more, will actually happen? Do you know that the Quran and the Sunnah/Hadith of the Prophet are real and not fairy tales?

Go to the Masjid and spend a weekend there thinking. Go on a 3 day jamaat. Even go there for any salat daily and take a few minutes before and after salat to think about this and make dua to Allah to help you make the right decision and to give hidayat to this girl if she is good for you, otherwise to help you forget about her.

Think hard before making the wrong decision brother. Think really, really, REALLY hard.

May Allah bless you and all of us with treasures of hidayat and may He always help us make the right decisions according to His deen. Ameen.

Again please forgive me if I said anything wrong brother and ask Allah swt to forgive me as well.

[Aram]

In short there is no way you can marry her without her converting sincerely to Islam, aside from this your marriage will not be valid, she will not be considered your wife and the relationship you will have with her will be haraam, don't be influenced by people like Shahrukh khan and his Hindu wife...their marriage is invalid

[warea]

This may not be the best place to ask your question since no one knows your personal background aand atmosphere your living in.

Either way,I dont see a way in which you could get married by family blessings in the relationship you suggest. Neither side nor the communitys of each side would see your relationship as pleasing. You'll have to live a hidden life discommunicated from your blood relationships.

More importantly, you should seek first the blessings of Allah. And that would happen by you following the guidelines of Allah. Therefore, unless she converts, you would not be under Allah's blessings.

And don't worry about the heart breaks in breaking up. You'll get over it like every one gets over it. Whe the love drug addiction drops, you might infact consider yourself lucky that you didn't jump into the marriage.

[gothicra]

assalamu alaikum
i dont know how to use forum
i have seriuos problem
1- i want to marry a girl she also want to marry me, i have talked with her father and he was also agree, but she now told me that she has jinnat on her and jinnat say to her dont marry that guy otherwise jinnat will kill me.
if she say yes to his father about me that she also want to marry me then jinnat will either kill her or me.

-if they had physical relationship before marriage and they want to marry but one of them woman or man is getting married to someone else because of their parents so the marriage will be haram or halal
means if person A and person B is in love and had sex but person B have to marry another person C then marriage between person B and person C is haram or halal, if person A and person B want to marry.