Yes, it is our belief this is what is intended by the muslim who is asking. And this is why the scholars said that istighatha and tawassul are interrelated. The one asking is using the one asked as an intermediary so really what they intend is 'Allah for the sake of the one asked grant me money, etc., etc.' or 'O one asked, Ask Allah to grant me money, etc, etc.' This is discussed in many of the fatawa quoted above like that of Ibn Hajar al-Haytami and Imam al-Subki.
As for the reasoning of Dr GF Haddad, here are his own words (which you've got access to via SP):
"And it is our firm belief that no one in the Umma of the Prophet knowledgeably calls other than Allah Most High even if they use expressions of direct request, as it is a concise verbal expression or ijaz lafzi even when we say: Ya Rasulallah, the meaning is ALWAYS AND INVARIABLY "Ask Allah for us, be our intercessor and our means for the fulfillment of our need" as Abu Hurayra, Jabir, Ibn `Abbas and others narrated from him salla Allahu `alayhi wa-Sallam regarding his Praiseworthy Position in the Divine Presence and the fact that it all means intercession for his Umma. *The Holy Prophet Muhammad upon him peace was created for intercession.*
This is Aqida 101 for every Sunni and the objectors are still stuck at the level where they deliberately confuse tawassul and istighatha with `ibada when it comes to others, bombing them with verses of Tawhid such as {Do not call upon anyone besides Allah} as if they applied to Muslims, just like the Khawarij were falsely quoting Quran to try and condemn the Companions of the Prophet!; yet for themselves these objectors make istighatha of their physicians, their lawyers, their bankers, their mortgage agents and insurers, the USA, the EU, their kings and potentates at the drop of a hat. By their own criterion it is they who are full-blown polytheists, not Ahl al-Sunna wal-Jamaa."
It seems that you did not read this article that I linked above. These very issues are beautifully dealt with therein by the Mufti of Egypt.So, if a Christian ask to 'Isa (as) or Maryam (as) to help him or guide him can we say that in fact he is asking to Allah since 'Isa(as) and Maryam (as) was created by Allah ?
Well, tawassul / istighatha, or whatever are just one of the means available to Allah answering our du'a. Just like medicine is one of the means available to cure our sickness - you can take it if you like or leave it if you like but ultimately the cure is from Allah not the tablet you may choose or not choose to swallow. Some Sahaba chose not to take medical treatment relying instead on Allah alone. We already quoted above the gnostic Shaykh Abdul Ghani al-Nablusi who similarly explained that this was simply a matter of taking the means available (quoting from the legal verdict of the Shaikh Imam Allamah Abul 'Izz Ahmad ibn al-'Ajami al-Shafi'i al-Wafa'i al-Azhari):I think your reasoning is flawed as well. Then why should anyone ask Allah at all. They should seek everything from the creation since you say that in reality Allah is creator of all things. Using your logic and analogy, Prophets are alive just like any other living human being, so asking them for Jannah Paradise / Job / Car etc.. shouldn't make any difference because you are in reality asking Allah. in short what you are saying is that Ya Ali madad or Ya Abdul Qadir Jilani Madad or Ya Ahmed_raza_Khan_barelwi madad is something recommended and every muslim should do it.
"And the saying: Oh Sidi Ahmad al-Badawi, Oh Shaykh so and so is not from associating [partners with Allah] because the intention is that of Tawassul and Istighathah, . Allah the Exalted said: "Oh you who believe fear Allah and seek unto Him a means of approach."
As for being alive or deceased - carefully read this article and you will see what I was referring to.
And finally, I feel that all of the answers to your questions are found in the links above. Please read all the links before commenting any more and wasting your own and others' time.
was-salam





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