Asking a girl to leave her job?

[jive]

I know of this pious muslima. I want to ask her for marriage but she works as a dentist. I dont like my wife to treat men. How would a girl react to that?

[FususAlHikam]

I know of this pious muslima. I want to ask her for marriage but she works as a dentist. I dont like my wife to treat men. How would a girl react to that?

Well brother she might just get upset, I mean lets say you studied as hard and long as she did to become a dentist and you were now practicing and some guy comes asking for your hand in marriage but with a demand that you leave your job how would you react to that?

OR thats probably what shes been wanting to hear her whole life because she became a dentist under pressure of family.

So we just dont know. You can just make that known though during the marriage talks, let her father know that you dont want her to treat men after marriage. Her profession can accommodate that change.

[jive]

I think she might like her job (I got some evidence) :S so this is a tough one. I need the courage to ask them. I hope they dont get too offended.

Akhi, in my eyes marriage is sunnah and 50% of deen. A degree means nothing to me. If someone told me to leave my job for a good wife I would do it. Studying a few years versus the akhira!

[Aram]

if that was me id pray salatul shukr...i hate working

[Amna4]

As a woman, I wouldn't take it too well if you straight out said "you need to leave your job". It all depends on presentation. If you phrase it with the pros and cons of her treating men, and wrapping it up by saying "I would much rather that you did not treat men."

Basically- I'm saying I wouldn't take it well if you told me not to treat men. But, if you gave me a logical argument as to why I shouldn't, then I might take that much more kindly. She may even not want to treat men after marriage.

[jive]

Sister Amna4; Well it depends on what she thinks about her job. I know of one dentist who hates treating the opposite gender. I hate working with non-muslim women who dont wear hijab.

You are right about me having to be careful about how I ask. The funny thing is, I have been introduced (sometimes the family approached mine) to girls who do these types of jobs and none of them ever offered to leave their work. I never asked them to because I was embarrassed. All I said was that I cant marry a doctor etc and they got offended. Oh, they said other brothers have said the same to them!

Have any of you been in this position?

Sister Aram, I think you are a minority. TBH I wouldnt mind leaving my work.