marraige prob...

[maya_123]

i hv been engaged to the person of my choice Alhamdo Lillah. After huge problems n troubles posed by the person's family, the engagement somehow took place. his family never never wanted me as their daughter in law. after much struggle n efforts our engagemnt took place.
Nao the prob is that my wud-be-in laws are trying to avoid the marriage by all means. they donot maintain any kind of contact wid my family, nor do they ever visit us. whenever my parents call them to decide abt the wedding date n all they jst day yes we vil come this week , yes we vil come next week....but they never come!! they dont come at allllll.
me and my fiance have had terrible fights on this issue whenever i complain to him abt his family's attitude. he jst cant listen anythng agaist them n so i hv stopped complaining. instead nao i explain him very nicely about the problems n issues that his family is creating....but he has a somewhat blind trust on them. he is like u donot try to undrtsnd them, they r very much willing for u, they want us to get married, but thr r othr issues lyk finances getting short n all. THE FACT IS THR R NO ISSUES....I KNOWWWW. he is all the tym being fooled up by his parents!!
uski family (mom dad, basically) usay itnaa zada brain wash krtay hain, itna zada bewqoof bnatay hain kay i dun hv words!! nao he is like; larki walon ko contact rakhna chahaye larkay waalo se, mere dad kehtay hain ye....
n my fiance has also made me make calls to his parents to make dem happy....whereas his parents didnt even call at the time when my father was in hospital admitted n thr ws little hope....last stage of TB....he recovered, but those ppl didnt even bother to make a single ph call. my fiance says haan un ne ghalti ki ph na kr k. bas dats it n den he forgets.
dont ask me to leave him....i luv him truly n cant imagine lyf widout him.

plx plx plx tell me some duaa for either to turn my in laws' hearts wid love for me and they give/take marriage date soon OR some duaa to turn my fiance in my favor against his family as i knw they r doing wrong. tell me some duaa or anythng to get his favors n supports against in laws. i m v much worried

[xs11ax]

you are not even married yet, so you shouldnt even be having all this contact with him.

you are not even married yet and you are having all these problems. imagine the problems you will have after getting married.

best to rethink your marriage strategy!

[mercyofAllah]

Stop contacting him by yourself as this is clear disobedience of Allah SWT that will incur the wrath of Allah SWT which can turn away the blessings. Better leave it to parents to deal with. Just make sincere tawbah to Allah SWT and keep seeking His help. Allahu alam

[maya_123]

plx dont say this...dont ask me to re-consider my decision abt marrying him. i want to be wid him....spend my lyf wid him...And Insha Allah i will. i m very tensed.

[mercyofAllah]

Don't be tensed. If he is in your taqdir, you will marry him. Whatever I am advising is to cut the contact with him which is not good. Leave the matter to the elders and keep praying to Allah SWT and keep seeking His SWT forgiveness.
Allahu alam

PS: BTW only ulema are supposed to answer in this section. I am sorry for the replies.

[maya_123]

i hv ceased contact for the last five days coz i m annoyed n i m lyk first send ur parents for fixing up the wedding dates n den we may tawk again.... i m nt in contct wid him. i m praying hard, real hard to Allah. n ofcourse the elders will deal. i m praying v hard. Allah will accept my prayers naa? do u or any1 who reads this knw of any specfic duaa that may help the matters resolve, i vil be extremely indebted fr the favor

[mercyofAllah]

The best duaa as far as marriage is concerned:
"Rabbana hab lana min azwajina wa dhuriyyatina qurrata A'yunin waj'alna lil-muttaqina imama."

"Our Lord! grant us in our mates and offspring the joy of our eyes and make us patterns for those who guard against evil." (25:74)

And then this:
Rabbi inni lima anzalta ilayya min khairin fakeer.

O Lord,Verily I am in ( desperate ) need of (whatever) good you may send me.

[Aram]

if the family do not like you now they will probably treat you even more badly if you marry him...and it sounds like he will not support you if this happens, he will take his families side....and if you have to live with your in-laws then you will probably be very miserable

it seems they do not have any respect for you and your family

Aap ki marzi hai agar phir bhi ayse khaandan se taluq rakhna chahati ho lekin hamarey culture mein larkey wale khud date set karte hai aur khud larki ke parents ko contact kartein hai...agar larki walon ko yeh baar baar kehna parta hai k aap logh date set karein....to aap ke parents ko bhi dukh pohnch raha hoga...unka bhi zara socho, unse mashwara lo ke kya karna chahiye. Is pyar ke chakar mein logh aandhey ho jatey hai...shaadi ke badh hi unko saaf dikhai deta hai

[hayya]

Salaat Istihkaara sis. Insha'Allah you will be guided to what is good for you in this life and the next.

[Zahed]

if the family do not like you now they will probably treat you even more badly if you marry him...and it sounds like he will not support you if this happens, he will take his families side....and if you have to live with your in-laws then you will probably be very miserable

it seems they do not have any respect for you and your family

Aap ki marzi hai agar phir bhi ayse khaandan se taluq rakhna chahati ho lekin hamarey culture mein larkey wale khud date set karte hai aur khud larki ke parents ko contact kartein hai...agar larki walon ko yeh baar baar kehna parta hai k aap logh date set karein....to aap ke parents ko bhi dukh pohnch raha hoga...unka bhi zara socho, unse mashwara lo ke kya karna chahiye. Is pyar ke chakar mein logh aandhey ho jatey hai...shaadi ke badh hi unko saaf dikhai deta hai

Mera khiyal hai, aap ki naseehat bekar hain.