The Story of Alqamah

At the time of the Prophet (peace be upon him), there
was a young man named Alqamah. He was very diligent in
obeying Allah by engaging in prayer and fasting and
spending in charity. Then he fell ill and his illness
became serious. His wife went to the Prophet and said,
”My husband, Alqamah, is on his deathbed. I therefore
came to tell you, Messenger of Allah, about his
condition.” The Prophet (then) sent for Ammar or
Suhaib and Bilal, and told them to go to him (Alqamah)
and have him repeat the Shahadah. Thereupon they went
to him and found him in the agony of death. They asked
him to say, “La illaha illa Allah,” but his tongue was
unable to pronounce it. At that, they came and told
the Messenger of Allah that he was unable to repeat
the Shahadah.

The Prophet asked, “Is either of his parents alive?”
He was told, “Messenger of Allah, his mother is, but
she is very old.” The Prophet sent her a message that
if it was convenient for her (that is, is she was able
to go out), she should come to him; otherwise she
should stay in her house and the Prophet would come to
her.

The Prophet's messenger came to her and informed her
of the Prophet's message. She said, “May my life be a
ransom for him, it is my pleasure to go to him!” She
then stood up, leaning on her walking stick, and came
to the Prophet and greeted him. The Prophet returned
her greeting and said to her, “Umm Alqamah, tell me
the truth, for otherwise Allah Most High will reveal
the truth to me! What is the situation concerning your
son, Alqamah?” She replied, “Messenger of Allah, he
prays much, fasts a great deal, and spends a great
amount in charity.” The Prophet said, “And what about
yourself?” She said, “Messenger of Allah, I am angry
with him.” He said, “Why?” She replied, “Messenger of
Allah, he has preferred his wife to me and has
disobeyed me.” Then Allah's Messenger said, “Umm
Alqamah, surely your anger has prevented Alqamah's
tongue from pronouncing the Shahadah.”

He then turned to Bilal and said, “Bilal, go out and
collect a quantity of firewood.” She said, “Messenger
of Allah, what do you plan to do?” He replied, “I will
burn him in front of your eyes.” She said, “Messenger
of Allah, he is my son! My heart cannot bear your
burning him in front of me!” He said, “Umm Alqamah,
Allah's punishment is more severe and more lasting!
Therefore, if you want Allah to forgive him, be
reconciled to him. By the One in Whose Hand is my
soul, the prayer, fasting, and spending in charity
(which he has done) are of no benefit to Alqamah as
long as you are angry with him! Thereupon she said,
“Messenger of Allah, I call upon Allah Most High and
His angels and the Muslims who are present to be my
witnesses that I am pleased with my son Alqamah.”
Allah's Messenger said, “Bilal, go to him and see
whether he is now able to say, “La illaha illa Allah”
or not. It may be that Umm Alqamah is saying something
for my sake which is not in her heart.”

Thereupon Bilal went, and while entering the door he
heard Alqamah saying, “La illaha illa Allah.”
(Concerning this), Bilal remarked, “It is surely true
that while Alqamah's mother was angry with him his
tongue was tied, and now that she is pleased with him
his tongue is freed.” Alqamah died the same day. The
Prophet came to him and gave the order for his washing
and shrouding, and then prayed the funeral prayer for
him and buried him. He then stood by the side of his
grave and said, “You company of Muhajireen and
Helpers, if anyone favors his wife over his mother,
Allah and His angels and all the people curse him!
Allah does not accept his spending (in charity) and
his uprightness unless he repents toward Allah, the
Glorious and Majestic, and reconciles with her and
attains her pleasure, because Allah's pleasure
consists in her pleasure and Allah's anger consists in
her anger.”

Source: Reported in Tabarani and Ahmed.

We must always be respectful and obedient to our
parents. However, we are not to obey them if they
order us to disobey Allah and His Prophet. Other than
this, they deserve our utmost attention and respect.