Letter of a Mujaahid to his wife....
Dedicated to my Princess
You never complained when you knew we would have nothing.
You were content on having what little you needed.
Where others would have left or moaned you never once let out a sigh.
You understood what was written was what we would eat.
I never once complained about what was put in front of me
as I knew it was your hands that brought it to me.
When I had nothing I had you.
We smiled as we saw the destruction around us
knowing that these people were not true.
You never felt sympathy towards the enemy.
You put your trust in your Rabb
and in turn you followed me.
Never did I have to wonder about you
as my secrets, my honour and my Deen
were safe with you.
We both know what hardships you faced just by being with me,
but not a word did you speak.
You were strong and in turn you made me strong.
Like a vanguard for this Ummah you concealed yourself.
Where others would rush to please their desires,
you were the essence of Taqwa.
Life was easy with you it came so naturally.
You were the extension of me and
would never need to finish my words as who knew me better than you?
You knew your place, which was by my side.
It’s the little things that make the person
and you would have easily have kept me going for a lifetime.
The way you would look at me with fire in your eyes
showed me that I was the only one for you.
You stole my heart and hid it away.
I loved your jealousy.
I loved to tease you with the thought of others
just so I could know how dear I was to you.
What chance did shaytan have
when you would ensure that fajr was the easiest of the salahs.
I loved that you would forsake me in an instant to fast a voluntary fast.
I loved that the Haq was dearer to you than my life and those of our jewels
Watching you makes me laugh,
as I wonder if my heart will ever want another
as I watch you feed my child,
as you lift her out of the bath,
as you wipe her little nose and the face she pulls.
You will never find a diamond in the hands of the poor
in the same way our diamond deserves to be carried in your hands.
We could have it all my love,
but who sells Paradise for an hour of passing pleasure?
I chose you Umm ***** as I know our fruits are safe with you.
Never would I have to worry about where the loyalties of my babies are.
They will love what we love they will love Allah Most Glorified Most High,
they will Love the Prophets and the best of Companions,
They will love those who they have never met but will long to meet.
They will love those better then us.
They will live to honour one statement.
La illaha illallah Muhammadur RasoolAllah
Others will fall under the weight of it but not them.
Their hearts will beat it, their words testify to it and their hands carry it.
Dont think I left you.
Dont think that in this world anything is dearer to me
then the minute that I walk home
knowing what waits for me behind closed doors.
I went to find a better place for us. I went to fulfil the best of deals.
I saw it written that if you give your life then eternity will be ours.
I saw it written somewhere that this was all a test
and I have no doubt that one who promises us
and whose word is truth must love me very much
as he gave me you and you were the hardest thing to give up.
They say the mind cannot comprehend what awaits us,
that sadness will be forgotten,
and they say that the eye has yet to see
and the ear has yet to hear the beauties that await us
in our new home.
They say rivers of honey my love
they say rivers of milk they say rivers of wine.
They say pearls and Gold thrones ,
they say musk and cool breezes.
Is it not fitting that I go to see this land afar to take you and our children?
I fear that the gates of opportunity will close behind me my love.
I fear others will hear what I hear and rush there and I will have nothing to offer you.
I know you will send our sons to look for their father.
Tell them that they will find me in every battle,
in every fight where the black flag is flown.
Tell them that the pain will be a pinch and then they will see what I see.
Tell them Green Birds wish to meet them.
Tell the Angels will call them by the best of names
and most of all that Allah The One The Eternal will be pleased with them.
I told you once that only 2 things will have me. You and death.
My life was with you but now I must marry again.
I must marry what was promised to me the moment I was born.
I must marry my fate and in turn I must marry death.
After death will come reckoning and if I stand with the best of creation
I will with the permission of Allah Lord of the Heavens and the Earth beg for you.
None was worthy to stand next to me in this life
so why is it I should desire another in the next?